I know what it feels like to wake up after a binge.
I know the guilty and shameful feelings that ache in the pit of your stomach.
The same thoughts going around and around and around.
Why do I keep doing this?
Why can't I just control myself around food?
What is wrong with me?
I didn’t know this then, but now I know that it wasn’t my fault.
I want you to know that binge eating is not your fault either. Bingeing is a physiological and psychological reaction designed to protect us against starvation. Our body is doing exactly what it is meant to do.
I’m sharing this with you because once I learnt that bingeing was not my fault, I stopped blaming myself, and for the first time I started to understand why they were happening, and with that came the strength to stop punishing myself the next day.
If you binged, I know how tempting it is to restrict your food and to compensate with exercise. But the truth is, the more you restrict and exercise, the more you will binge, it’s a never-ending cycle.
I encourage you to try the below steps instead, as punishing yourself is never the answer.
1). Don’t restrict.
I didn’t know this then, but every time I went back on my diet and crazy exercise regime, I was setting myself up for another binge. And I kept repeating this cycle over and over. When we physically, mentally, or emotionally restrict food, our body’s survival mechanism will kick in to protect us against what it sees as starvation, so the more we restrict, the more we binge. The only way to break this cycle is to stop restricting.
2). Step up the self-care.
Adequate self-care is critical to our wellbeing, as we are unable to really connect to our body and listen to what it needs when our self-care is lacking. I would find that when I was stressed or overworked, it would end up in a binge. Rather than punishing myself, I would take the binge as a sign to step up my self-care. Prioritise your self-care the next day. Have a bath, take time out to rest, catch up on sleep, or phone a friend.
3). Get out in nature.
One of the things that played a significant role in my recovery from an eating disorder was being out in nature. It is hard to explain how it made me feel, but it was almost that my problems didn’t feel as extensive. This experience led me to research this, and I discovered that nature has a significant impact on improving our social, psychological, physical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing. Being exposed to nature reduces stress, increases happiness, enhances cognitive function, and assists with healing. One of the best things you can do to feel better the day after a binge is to get out in nature. It will do wonders for your mental health.
4). Be kind to yourself.
This one is easier said than done but punishing yourself after a binge is never the answer. Instead choose self-compassion. Self-compassion means showing yourself kindness and understanding, instead of punishment and criticism, in the face of suffering, inadequacy or failure. Choosing compassion lowers anxiety and depression and increases self-esteem. You can do this by talking to yourself as you would to a loved one, writing in a journal, and asking yourself before each decision you make, am I treating myself with kindness right now? By practicing self-compassion and kindness after a binge, you will positively be able to move on from the experience.
5). Eat satisfying foods.
For many years I only ate food as per its calorie content. My go to’s were always low calorie, pre-packaged snack packs or diet products so I could stay in control of my calorie intake for the day. This meant that I was starving all the time, I could not concentrate, and I thought about food 99.9% of my day, and it would always result in a massive binge. Once I started eating foods that I wanted to eat, and that I enjoyed, it filled me up physically and mentally and I stopped the binge/ restrict/ binge/ restrict cycle. Choose foods that you really want to eat, not that you think you should eat, this way you will feel content and satisfied.
6). Don’t go crazy with exercise.
I know, this one can be a hard habit to break, but trying to compensate or punish yourself with exercise the next day is only going to add more stress, guilt and anxiety to your already stressed out self. If you wish to exercise the next day, do so from a place of nourishment, not punishment, as this will help reconnect with yourself instead of punishing your body with excessive movement and adding even more stress to it. Know that its OK to not exercise at all if you don’t want too. Choose kindness always.