Count the memories, not the calories
Christmas is the time to be counting memories, not calories. I know this is a lot easier said than done, especially if you are eating more food than usually, or eating foods that you normally wouldn’t allow yourself to eat. It is natural to have feelings of anxiety, or of guilt and shame. It can take some time unlearning the messages from diet culture, so go easy on yourself. I want to share with you the things that I learnt that helped me the most with this, so that they can help you too.
• Our body needs a variety of foods to function at its best. And Christmas is a great time to eat variety, as there are so many delicious foods that we only have at this time of year.
• There are no “good” or “bad” foods. Food is just food, some foods may have more nutrients than others but that doesn’t make them superior, they just serve a different purpose. Labels such as “good food” and “bad food”, stems from diet culture, and by labelling food this way, we internalise the message to mean that we are either good or bad when we eat them, which isn’t true as food doesn’t have morals. Let go of all labels, and describe foods as they are (i.e. carrot, potato, cake), or you can also describe them by taste and texture (this is also great for kids).
• Food ultimately is about pleasure. If you look at the French and Mediterranean cultures, they take a lot of pleasure in food, not only with taste, but with social connection, and they are the healthiest nations in the world. Not only is Christmas a wonderful time to take pleasure in food, but it’s also a time to connect with loved ones and make lasting memories.
Tune out diet talk and food shaming
“I am so naughty for eating this”
“Wow, are you having seconds?”
“You are eating again?
“Diet starts in January!”
Sound familiar? I hear you. Navigating food and diet talk is one of the most challenging parts of the holiday season. Unfortunately, diet culture is so normalised, even more so at this time of year, and so are these phrases. Because of this, your loved ones most likely don’t know that they can be harmful and triggering.
Here are my top tips for tuning out food shame and diet talk.
• As soon as it comes up, change the subject. I normally say, “what are you watching on Netflix right now?”, Or “what are you up to next weekend?”. This works for me 99.99% of the time. If that doesn’t work, and they bring it up again. You can say something like, “this food is so delicious I can’t wait to have more”, or if it’s about their current diet, you can say, “I am glad you have found something that works for you”, and then change the subject again.
• Take 5 minutes out and go to the bathroom. If you are sitting around the table and the diet and food talk is coming at you in all directions, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.
• If you feel comfortable doing this, you can explain to your loved ones that you are in the process of healing your relationship to food, and that diet talk is triggering for you, and kindly ask them not to talk about it.
Exercise for nourishment, not punishment
You are under no obligation to do any exercise if you don’t want to. But if you do choose to exercise, it is way more beneficial for your mental and physical wellbeing to do so in a way that is nourishing, not punishing. Punishing exercise includes exercising to earn or burn food, doing exercises you hate, forcing yourself to do it if you don’t want to, and exercising through illness, injury, pain, or exhaustion. Nourishing exercise includes exercising for the way it makes you feel, knowing it’s OK to rest if you need to and exercising in ways that you enjoy, in any way, shape, or form that works for you. You never have to exercise to earn or burn food, not now, not ever. Choose nourishment over punishment always.
Don’t restrict
I know firsthand how tempting it can be to restrict your food intake in the lead up to Christmas, or plan on restricting after the holidays. I did this for many Christmases, and the memories I have of all of these is feeling miserable, sad, and having out of control binges.
Restricting food is only going to lead to feelings of failure, overeating, cravings, binging and thinking about food non-stop. It will mean you will be more focused on the food, and feel anxious and overwhelmed, rather than enjoying the experience. Honouring your hunger and eating enough food is part of self-care, it is a basic need. Tune in and listen to your body, eat enough food for your needs and choose foods that not only physically fill you up, but that satisfy you and give you pleasure.
Prioritise self-care
Self-care is more than just getting your nails done and having a massage (even though these do play a role). Basic self-care is ensuring that your physical and emotional needs are being met, and that your stress levels are being managed. If you are under stress, your body’s biological fight on- or flight survival kicks in. This means the basic functions of your body switch off which makes it hard to hear what you are needing. To enjoy Christmas stress free, it is important to prioritise your basic self-care.
Here are 3 ways.
• Get enough sleep. Rested, plentiful sleep will boost positive emotions and enable you to function optimally. After a good night’s sleep your brain is supercharged, your skin is more hydrated, and your muscles are rested.
• Rest & relax. When you don’t take time out to relax and destress, your cortisol levels remain high, which affects the neurotransmitters in your brain. Set aside some time each day for a relaxing activity. Even if it’s just 10 minutes.
• Set boundaries. This is one of the most important parts of self-care, but is also one of the hardest, but by putting boundaries in place you will protect your physical and emotional needs. Set boundaries with family members and say no to anything you aren’t comfortable with.
Be kind to yourself
Even with the above steps, all sorts of feelings and emotions may still arise, especially around food shame, guilt, not exercising as much, and the emotional rollercoaster with being around family. This is perfectly normal, and it is ok to have these feelings. All of your feelings are valid. Be gentle with yourself and take each day as it comes. Know It’s OK to make mistakes, you are human. Be curious, learn, and explore, but most importantly, be kind to yourself always. This means treating yourself with the kindness that you deserve, just as you treat others. The best way to do this is to check in with yourself and ask yourself the following questions around each decision and thought that arises.
Am I being kind to myself right now?
How can I be kind to myself in this moment?
What would I do or say if this was a loved one?
Choose kindness always, as punishing yourself is never the answer.
NEED extra support in quitting dieting, and healing your relationship to food, exercise, and your body?